Fighting Fear
by Cyannie
Summary: AU Setting where in a teenage Santana Lopez tries to hide her feelings for a certain girl named Brittany Pierce.
1. First Meeting

**A/N: This will be my very first GLEE fanfic and I hope to continue making more in the future.**  
**PS: I'm still marathon-ing GLEE since last weekend.**

**Rated T mostly for later chapters.**

**This is the first chapter! I decided to divide it into sections. I don't know how long it would be... but I'm guessing no longer than five chapters :). I'll probably be updating every two weeks... earlier or later depending on my mood lol. ENJOY!**

* * *

The first time she ever felt it, she was clueless. "What is this?" was her question as she kept on watching the blonde-haired girl from across the hall. The feeling sent pleasure throughout her body. She knew by then that she wanted something more with a mere stranger. And because of that, she was afraid of the feeling. She was afraid of the stranger.

Santana Lopez was a popular girl in her early teens. She didn't like boys at all but considers to flirt back with them just to keep up with the trend. She tried really hard to fit in because she didn't want to be an outcast. Although it hurts her whenever she mocks other people for their insecurities, she figured that it was the only way she could hide her true feelings.

"Ms. Lopez, you've been causing too much trouble here in school. I might suggest putting you in detention for at least two weeks straight," the principal told her, "I shall be notifying your parents."

Santana didn't care. She still held up her catty attitude as she chewed her gum loudly. She knew that the principal was annoyed by the sound of gum chewing and she loved it. Santana was immediately directed to detention by the principal and she responded by slowly walking out of the room, chewing her gum louder.

Arriving in front of the detention room, as she continued to chew her gum, Santana analyzed the detention room door. It had a small peek-through window at an eye level. There was a sign that said 'DETENTION' in front of the door as well. It didn't seem like she was going to have fun in detention. But being in detention would only give her the ego that she survived detention and that she was part of those kids you really don't want to mess around with. She wants to hold a reputation, in general.

As soon as she opened the door, she received glances from several people. They seriously do seem like they were trouble children, especially with how they dressed and how they looked. Finally, they diverted their attention back to what they were doing previously. Most of the boys were messing around together while some of the few girls inside the detention room were filing their nails while chewing gum. Santana gulped down before she proceeded towards the room to sit in a chair.

Upon sitting on a chair, she placed her backpack by the side and rested her elbow on top of the table, placing her chin on the palm of her hand and coming out with a sigh from her mouth. She didn't know what to do inside the detention room. She didn't want to pull out notes because she thought she would look like a loser in front of the troubled kids around her whom, in result, may pick on her in the future. She didn't want to pull out a piece of paper either and start drawing. They might think she was some art freak. But it wasn't like she did think that her drawing skills were any good compared to those true 'art freaks'.

Suddenly, the door opened once again. Like before, everyone turned their heads towards the door to see who the person was. Santana was absolutely shocked to see who it was.

"Hey Brit!" one of the boys greeted the blonde-haired girl and proceeded to wink afterwards.

"Hello there," the girl greeted with a slight smile and looked around for a chair.

Just then, Santana made eye contact with the girl. She diverted her stare towards something else, hoping that the girl wouldn't sit close to her. But it was all too late as she felt the girl sitting at the chair to her right.

"Hi there," the blonde-haired girl greeted shyly with a smile.

Santana looked up at the girl, quite hesitantly.

"Hi..." she replied and looked away.

"My name's Brittany, Brittany S. Pierce. But I'm not Britney Spears," the girl continued.

Santana gave her a skeptical look. The girl sounded dumb much to her surprise.

"Santana Lopez," she responded.

"It seems like it's your first time here. We should totally be BFFs!" Brittany said with much excitement.

"I'd rather not be affiliated with troublesome people like you."

"You're in detention. That means you're troublesome too."

Santana sighed. There was in no way she was going to get out of the conversation with Brittany. She didn't want to talk to her any longer. But she couldn't bring herself to stop replying to the girl. She loved every moment in fact. But she was afraid. She knew she shouldn't associate herself with the girl any longer. She knew it wouldn't be possible because she would be going to detention for two weeks straight as the principal had told her. And now knowing that Brittany was known inside the detention room, Santana knew that Brittany comes in frequently. But in Santana's eyes, Brittany didn't seem that bad of a girl.

"Why are you in detention?" Santana asked Brittany.

"I kissed a guy at the hallway," Brittany replied quickly as if she had rehearsed the same thing every single day.

Santana nodded in response. From there, she thought that the girl didn't lean towards girls. It gave her relief and, at the same time, disappointment. Yet, she considered to smile in front of her in return.

"What about you? I've seen you bullying those kids around there. I'm surprised that you've been in detention just now."

"Reason why I'm being put in detention for two weeks straight instead of a day."

"That's awesome," Brittany smiled, "you really do fit the bad girl image."

"Is that a compliment?" Santana asked, not sure if she was being complimented or being mocked.

Brittany nodded her head as she twirled some strands of her hair around her index finger. Her stare towards Santana seemed to have triggered pleasurable impulses throughout the girl's body yet she didn't know about it. She was oblivious to how she looked like in front of the girl. She wasn't doing anything seductive on purpose.

Santana gulped down and tried to calm herself down.

"This girl is really dangerous..." she said inside her mind.

Soon, the staff responsible for supervising detention went inside while calling an order across the room and sat at the teacher's desk. Everybody immediately sat down properly on their respective seats. It seems like the trouble kids found their challenge. The teacher did seem pretty scary anyway.

"Do your homeworks, you little twats!" she exclaimed as she placed her feet on top of the table with her arms crossed.

Santana was staring at her for a long time. She didn't realize that the supervisor caught her eyes and was staring back at her as well.

"You! At the back!"

Santana awoke from her senses and looked around to see who the supervisor was referring to.

"You, idiot! Stop looking around!"

"Me?" Santana mouthed as she pointed at herself.

"Yes you! Are you just going to stare at me all day or are you going to do your homework?!"

"Sorry..." Santana apologized as she grabbed the quick-to-do homeworks she had and a pen from her other bag pocket.

Brittany looked over Santana. Since she knew Santana was new to detention, she thought that the girl didn't know of the terror supervisor they had. Their supervisor was actually picked to be the school's detention supervisor and no other. The school thought that by having her as a supervisor, the school's trouble kids would stop causing trouble.

"Hey Santana," Brittany leaned over the girl and whispered, "that's Ms. Sylvester. One time, she growled at me and I swear she became Satan."

Santana discreetly looked over Brittany and nodded with a slight smile before returning to do her homework.

"No chatting! This is detention people! Not a fun house!" Ms. Sylvester shouted from across the room while looking at Brittany and Santana, causing everyone to jump from their seats.

Brittany took out a breather before returning back to her homework. But Brittany knew nothing. Doing her homework was a joke.

Santana noticed that the girl was struggling so she looked over again at the girl discreetly, trying to peek at her homework. Santana could seriously not believe how dumb the girl was for stressing over such an easy English homework.

"It's just determining subject and predicate... How easy is that?! How did this girl even pass through grade school?!" Santana thought in her mind with frustration. She wanted to help the girl badly but she knew she couldn't because she might get yelled at by Ms. Sylvester.

After detention, Santana proceeded to rush out of the room and hurried her way through the entrance of the building but Brittany caught up to her, walking quickly. Santana looked at the girl as she kept walking, wondering why the girl was following her. But she didn't pay much attention to it as she proceeded to exit the school building.

Upon seeing her mother, Santana ran towards her. She looked back at Brittany and saw the girl standing there with a slight smile.

"Are any of your parents here yet?" she asked Brittany.

"No... my mom's at work. She's picking me up in thirty minutes."

"Do you want a ride to your house instead, dear?" Santana's mother offered.

"That's okay Santana's mom. I'm used to being alone for thirty minutes," Brittany replied to the kind offer.

"Are you sure about that?"

Brittany nodded with a smile.

"Alright darling... we'll be going ahead now," Mrs. Lopez told Brittany as she opened the car door for her daughter before climbing up the driver's seat.

Santana looked over the window and watched Brittany as the car drove away. Brittany was waving goodbye to her with a smile so she replied back with the same gesture. As soon as the car was too far for Santana to see the girl, she sat properly on her seat and looked over at her mother.

"Mom, do you believe in love at first sight?"


	2. So-called Puppy Love

**A/N: Thank you for the favorites and follows :)**

* * *

_"Darling, what you may be realizing right now is something called 'puppy love'. You truly fall in love with a person when you know everything about him and accept him for who he is..."_

Santana reflected on her mother's words. She wanted to ask more questions but she was afraid that her mother would start on asking her back some questions. It was already hard enough for her to lie to her mother especially since it hurt her inside. It was not a boy she 'fell in love' with. It was a girl. And for her to hide that fact aches her, knowing how much people have teased the feminine looking boys at school and the masculine looking girls as well. Santana didn't want to be judged by anyone, heck neither did anyone at the school. But reality faced her and gave her a challenge. She knew she wouldn't be able to escape from the fact that she was attracted to someone with the same gender as she does. Like how secrets are, everybody in school would eventually realize that fact about her.

Instead of trying to escape the fact that she's going to see Brittany in school for at least two weeks because of detention, she decided to face it. There was nothing she could do anyway. If she skipped out of detention, she knew that she would have more weeks in detention or she would get suspended from the school instead. But those didn't matter to Santana anymore after a while of being with Brittany in detention. They would both sometimes make fun of Ms. Sylvester secretly or make fun of the other students in the room. She had fun chatting with the girl or even just being around her.

But detention soon came to an end for Santana, which meant she would be leaving Brittany alone in detention. She thought she would have relief when detention is over for her, but it gave her a burden deep inside of her. Somehow, she felt sad about leaving Brittany alone with the rotten kids of detention.

"You're supposed to be happy about this because you're never really going to see Brittany anymore," Santana told herself. But as she looked back at Brittany while leaving the detention room for the last time, she felt like going back inside and sitting beside Brittany for the whole while like two weeks was infinity.

"Bye," Brittany mouthed to Santana while she waved her hand slightly.

Santana could only slightly smile with a guilty look and proceed on her way out of the room completely.

* * *

Weeks after, Santana saw Brittany at the hallway kissing some boy. She was definitely disgusted by it but she was more irritated by it. Since she couldn't stand looking at them kissing, Santana decided to intervene, pulling Brittany away from the boy.

"Hey, what's your problem?!" the boy asked Santana, looking at her in anger.

Santana realized what she had done and she looked over at Brittany. Brittany was looking back at her, confused why she had done such a thing.

"S-Sorry," Santana apologized to the two and headed off in embarrassment.

Brittany watched as Santana kept walking away while the boy she was just making out with grabbed her hands and tugged onto it.

"Hey, let's hurry up before the next class starts up soon," the boy told her.

Brittany looked at him, nodding, still lost and wondering why Santana broke her off from the boy, and proceeded to finish their make out session.

"But before we continue... do you know Santana?" Brittany asked the boy.

"Not at all," the boy shook his head.

"Not even acquaintances? Did you have a class with her at all?"

Once again, the boy shook his head.

"I'm new to this school, remember?" the boy reminded her.

"Oh," Brittany remembered the time when he had asked her for directions early that morning. She thought about what possible reason Santana might have for her to react that way.

"Can we get going? Class starts in about three minutes," the impatient boy sighed.

"Ah, yes. Sorry," Brittany proceeded to make out with the boy once again.

Meanwhile, when Santana sat on her seat for the next class, she thought back at how Brittany looked at her. She wasn't embarrassed because of the boy, Santana was embarrassed because of Brittany. She thought again and again how much she made a fool out of herself in front of the girl she liked.

"She'd probably ask me why I broke them off if I ever see her around again..." she thought to herself as she tapped her pencil against her desk.

"Please refrain from doing that, Ms. Lopez," the teacher told Santana as she eyed on her.

"Sorry..." Santana halted her tapping.

* * *

When school was over Santana was picked up by her mother as always. As soon as she got all buckled up, she asked her mother another question.

"What if you can't stand it when that person is kissing someone else?"

Mrs. Lopez looked at her rear-view mirror to look at Santana. She knew it was about time that her daughter started growing up and started feeling those queasy feelings that somehow is satisfying but can be heartbreaking at the same time. But she knew her daughter was still too young for her decisions to be all that serious for she, herself, have experienced those things. Most relationships of childhood turn into break ups anyway.

"Haven't I told you about it already dear?" Mrs. Lopez asked her daughter.

"Yes mom but... this is different and I know it," Santana reasoned.

"You're still too young to know the meaning of true love, dear," her mother began to explain, "you'll know the meaning of it when you're fully grown up."

"When would that be?"

Mrs. Lopez sighed. She knew those kinds of questions were coming but she didn't know it would be happening right at the moment.

* * *

The next day, Santana was greeted by Brittany while she was getting her books out of her locker.

"How'd you know my locker's over here?" Santana asked the girl.

"Please, I know my way around here. After all, I have to know the good spots to make out," Brittany told her, causing Santana to roll her eyes around at the stupid answer from the stupid girl herself.

"What are you up to?" Santana decided to ask before the question as to why the blonde-haired girl decided to come up to her.

"I want to ask you about yes-"

"Pretend that didn't happen at all," Santana quickly cut her off about the topic.

"Were you jealous?"

No response.

"Is it because you like this guy?"

Santana thought about it before finally deciding to give Brittany one brief answer.

"Yes."

Brittany, unmoved by the answer, replied, "great. Because I actually hooked you up for a date with him."

"A date?!"

"I thought you liked him because of yesterday so I decided to hook you up with him."

"Thank you Brittany but I think-"

"Girl's locker room at the gym after school. Be there."

"Girl's locker room?! Is he even allowed to be there?!"

"Remember," Brittany exclaimed as she began to walk away, "girl's locker room after school!"

Santana sighed, knowing that she could do nothing about Brittany's surprise decision. All she had to do was to appear or ditch out. But Santana couldn't decide what to do at the moment. Since classes were about to start, she decided to proceed to her next class and think about her decision more until later.

* * *

During lunch time, Santana saw Brittany once again making out with some other boy but at a different location. She was disgusted by the fact that Brittany had been making out with all these boys but she was conflicted as well because she knew she wanted to be one of those boys.

"We all do know that's not going to happen at all..." Santana told herself, "... she's probably making out with that other boy because she thinks I like that one boy she was making out with yesterday. I seriously don't know what her plans are..."

Brittany saw Santana deep in thought while looking at her. She was observing her while making out with the boy in front of her. Seeing as Santana noticed that she was looking back at her, she saw the girl look away and proceed to walk ahead. As soon as Santana's image was out of view, Brittany pulled away from the boy and looked towards Santana's direction.

"What's wrong?" the boy in front of her asked.

Brittany looked back at him and replied, "I think I paid you off already, considering that it's your first kiss. You should actually be thankful instead of complaining that you even got a kiss, especially from me."

The boy sighed while leaning against the wall, watching Brittany as she walked away wiping her lips with a handkerchief.

* * *

School soon ended for the day. Santana packed up her belongings and left the room until she remembered what Brittany had told her that morning.

"Girl's locker room at the gym after school. Be there."

She paused from her steps, standing in the middle of the hallway, and bit her lip. She looked back towards the gym's direction, thinking if she should go ahead and meet up with the date that Brittany had set her up with. Feeling with guilt, Santana sighed in frustration and proceeded towards the gym's direction. She knew she had to do it.

Arriving at the gym, she looked around and nobody was there. It was still football season so the guys were outside at the field playing football. The school's cheerleading team was practicing out the field with the football team. Santana immediately made her way to the locker rooms after making assumptions. But as she proceeded outside the locker room, there was no one there. Santana thought it was a trick but she also thought that it may be possible that she had arrived at the location too early for the guy to appear.

But finally, after thirty minutes of waiting, and her mother constantly calling, Santana decided to pick up her belongings and exit the locker room. She was all filled with frustrations and anger not only to Brittany but to herself as well.

"I can't believe I fell for such a trick. Was Brittany playing a prank on me or something?" Santana thought to herself.

But as she was hurriedly walking out of the girl's locker room, she was stopped and greeted with a kiss upon her lips. It was her first kiss to be exact. She blinked a couple of times, confused why the person in front of her was kissing her. But as soon as the person pulled away, it only left her longing for more.

"Hi Santana."

"B-Brittany..."


	3. Friends With Benefits

**A/N: Just a head's up, to all you Faberry fans out there, I finally have a plot for my next fic :)**

**Also, this chapter contains flashbacks on the first half. And there's nothing much special I guess? You guys read and decide :)**

**WARNING: the Teen rating for this fic comes to play more in this chapter. (some themes may probably seem to be more suggestive to others)**

* * *

"How are you so good at this?"

"Well, Brittany, just because I don't have much experience than you doesn't mean I cannot pleasure you as much as you do to me."

Santana had been together with Brittany ever since that kiss they had during middle school. But before you think of anything else, they're actually just friends... with benefits that is.

_Santana was shocked when Brittany suddenly kissed her but she actually liked it. It left her longing for more but before she turns into a kissing maniac, she tried to control herself and asked the girl why she had done such action upon her._

_"I get it, Santana. I know you just want a taste of Brittany S. Pierce. No one can resist me, I know," Brittany told the girl._

_"I-It's not what you think," Santana shook her head and massaged her temples, "look, no one's supposed to know this, alright?"_

_"Why? What's wrong? Am I that disgusting?!"_

_"It's not you, Brit. It's not you."_

_Brittany sighed but agreed with the girl's decision._

_"How'd you like the kiss though?" she asked, eagerly anticipating for the girl's answer._

_"You're not that bad of a kisser," Santana answered with a slight smile, "but this will be the only time that would happen, alright?"_

_"Mhm," Brittany smiled._

But Santana was a rebel and a rule breaker. She even broke the pact she herself had brought up for the other person to agree on.

_A few weeks after, Santana had pulled Brittany from across the hall into a dark and empty room. She had cornered the girl at a place where they will definitely not be seen by any passerby, especially a faculty member._

_"What's up, Santana?" Brittany asked the girl but she was soon silenced by a deep kiss._

_Santana pulled away after a few seconds and glared at the girl._

_"Remember, don't tell anyone," she told the blonde-haired girl in front of her and proceeded to walk out of the room._

_"W-What was that all about?" Brittany asked._

_"I felt like kissing someone," Santana replied without turning her head around and exited the room._

Somehow, their deep kisses soon turned into making out, which, afterwards, turned into something more.

_It was their first year of high school, which meant they're more grown up. And growing up only meant that they're going to have more hormonal rush through them. Almost every students already have boyfriends and girlfriends. The relationships were typical. The sports people dated each other. The preppies dated each other. And of course, the weirdos dated each other. But there are some who don't have anyone special to share their hormonal high school with. One of them is Santana._

_Brittany had invited Santana over to her house so she could meet her overweight cat named 'Lord Tubbington'. Since Santana was really special to her and also Lord Tubbington, Brittany wanted the both of them to meet each other._

_As she stepped inside their house, Santana looked around and everything seems nice and quiet. She looked at Brittany, who was leading the girl to her room._

_"Is anyone here?" Santana asked Brittany._

_"Nope. My parents are still at work," answered Brittany and told the girl, "come on! Hurry up! Lord Tubbington couldn't wait to see you too!"_

_"Alright, alright," Santana chuckled and went upstairs with Brittany._

_Inside Brittany's room, the blonde girl called for her cat but there was no sign of movement nor a simple "meow." She calls for the cat again but the cat was unresponsive. Frustrated, Brittany hunts for the cat while Santana sits herself at a nearby chair by Brittany's desk. Having been in Brittany's room for the first time, Santana looked around, examining every detail in the room while Brittany hunts for her cat._

_"There you are!" Brittany shouted, startling Santana. The girl brings out her overweight Bengal cat upon her arms, "it seems like you've been smoking again. I'm not impressed with your behavior... Anyway, here's Santana for you. She's been eager to meet you."_

_Santana looked really surprised at how fat the cat was. Even so, he looked really chill and fluffy._

_"What do you feed your cat?!" Santana questioned Brittany as she was being handed Lord Tubbington._

_"Human food," Brittany answers, much to Santana's surprise, "he wouldn't eat any other food so we only feed him human food."_

_Brittany sat on top of her bed and continued to watch as Santana bonded with Lord Tubbington. She smiled, looking at how quickly the two really important subjects in her world are bonding. She looked around for her camera and grabbed it from her bedside cabinet. She captured the moment and looked at the outcome from her camera's screen._

_Santana, hearing the click of the camera, looked up to see Brittany smiling at whatever she was looking at on the camera. She wondered what it was, standing up from her seat while Lord Tubbington caught himself and jumped on top of Brittany's bed. Santana proceeded towards the girl, trying to get a glimpse of the photo that Brittany took._

_"Did you just take a picture of me?!" she asked the girl and tried to grab the camera from her, sitting herself beside the girl._

_"You two just looked cute together!" Brittany told the girl and willingly gave her the camera._

_Santana looked at the photo and thought the photo was actually beautiful. She proceeded to turn over to Brittany to say something but words were lost as her eyes met with Brittany's. The close proximity between them didn't help the girl at all from fighting her own urges. Santana was lost upon Brittany's clear blue eyes._

_Brittany was waiting for Santana to respond but figured what was going on at the moment between them. She just realized how amazing Santana really looked up close. Her lazy, brown eyes were calling out her name, her body, her soul. She knew it. Santana Lopez is yearning for Brittany S. Pierce._

_Santana initiated the first move, bringing Brittany's face towards hers until their lips met. Santana's kisses were aggressive, as well as her hands. She caressed every part of Brittany's upper body, to which the girl did to hers as well. She paused the kisses for a second, forehead-to-forehead, eye-to-eye, they gasped for some air._

_"Do you even know how to have this kind of sex?" Brittany asked the panting girl in front of her._

_"I don't really know, but I think I have an idea," Santana answered the blonde girl in front of her._

_"Well, for starters, let me show how," Brittany smirked._

_Brittany locked lips with the girl in front of her, returning to their aggressive but passionate kiss earlier. And from then on, with Brittany leading and showing Santana the scopes of sexual interaction between both females, they just had their first sex together. It was actually Santana's first._

_With a blanket to cover their bodies, Brittany and Santana were lying down on the bed together in close proximity. The both of them were looking at each other with one hand supporting their heads._

_"How was it?" Brittany asked._

_"It was... exciting," Santana gulped, not believing that the word came out of her mouth to describe her first experience._

_"Tell me, Santana... was it your first time doing, um, sex? Not just between both girls but..."_

_As embarrassing as it was to admit, Santana nodded her head to answer Brittany's question. She was embarrassed to say that she never have had sex before, especially since they're already in high school, but she wanted her first to be from someone special anyway. And that someone special was Brittany._

_"What about Puck? You've never had sex with him before?"_

_Santana did nothing but shake her head at the question, which surprised Brittany._

_"I thought..." Brittany paused, "... I'm sorry for taking your first."_

_"It's okay," Santana smiled, "I think I'd rather have my best friend, the person I trust the most in this whole world, be my first anyway."_

_Brittany was touched by what her best friend said, almost tearing up. She leaned forward, to which Santana did as well, and both of their lips met once again that day._

* * *

Noah Puckerman, aka "Puck" the bad boy heartthrob, had been in a relationship with Santana Lopez since the end of middle school. With the whole school knowing Puck's image and Santana's bitchy attitude, there were no doubts that the two could've possible done more than making out behind the school. But no one knows that Santana was only using the boy to cover her own feelings for Brittany before the rest of the world knew of it. She was afraid of being labeled and bullied because of that label.

"Hey Puck, hey Santana," Brittany greeted the couple as she placed her tray on top of the table, seating herself across them.

It was lunch break. The trio always ate together in the cafeteria.

"I got three coupons from Breadstix and I was going to ask if you would like to join us for dinner tonight," Puck told Brittany.

"That would be awesome! I love Breadstix! I'm pretty sure Lord Tubbington would love to come as well."

"Brittany, I don't think your cat is allowed inside the restaurant unless it's a guide dog."

"Aw... Lord Tubbington wanted to join me for Breadstix when I told him I went there the last time," Brittany pouted.

"Well, Brittany, you could always bring Lord Tubbington some take home bread sticks after," Santana told her blonde friend to cheer her up.

"Yay! I'm so in!" Brittany cheered.

* * *

Around 7:30pm, Puck got ready for Breadstix and hopped into his truck to pick up the other two girls. He proceeded to go to Santana's house first because she was his girlfriend, of course. He pulled up in front of the girl's house and honked his car horn. Santana came out of the house a few seconds after and greeted Puck with a smile while walking to his truck.

"Hey babe," Puck greeted Santana as the girl entered his truck. His lips were puckered for a kiss, the usual thing they did whenever he picks her up.

"Hey," Santana leaned in and pecked Puck's lips.

Puck began to drive to Brittany's house.

"So," Puck brought up a conversation. It was something he had wanted to ask the girl for a long time, "could we do it tonight?"

Santana's heart beat began to palpitate. She knew sooner or later that the guy would bring up the conversation. The boy had been making the first moves anyway but Santana would always divert his attention to something else.

"I don't know why you're not ready yet anyway. We've been dating for a long time now. All my friends had been asking me and I would always lie to them," Puck sighed, "I may seem like a bad boy but I really hate lying something about a part of myself. Sex is a part of my life, Santana, and you are too."

"Maybe you could just keep telling them that," Santana suggested.

"Do you really understand what I'm talking about?!"

"Look, Puck, I'm really not ready yet. Why couldn't you just understand that?"

"You know what, Santana, everybody at school's having sex anyway. It's not like it's a big deal."

"Well for a girl like me, it is."

"Am I not that special for you?!" Puck glanced at his girlfriend.

Santana felt a bit guilty. She was using the boy for a cover up and is depriving him of something he wanted the most because of that.

"I thought you had sex with some of the girls already."

"Bullshit, Santana! I do appreciate you staying with me as a loyal girlfriend, but I've had enough. I want to do it with my own girlfriend!" Puck slams the steering wheel out of anger. He took a little breather afterwards and calmed down, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be forcing you into something you don't want to do."

Santana looked forward, still in her seat, nodding her head nervously. She was quite afraid of what Puck might do. The bottled up feelings and desire he currently has could errupt into something more in the future and she didn't want it to be anything near violent nor harsh because it had happened to her. She had bottled up feelings for Brittany and bottled up her desire to come into personal contact with the girl, and now she's technically cheating on Puck.

* * *

Upon picking up Brittany from her house, Puck took both girls to Breadstix and seated themselves with him sitting next to his girlfriend and with them sitting across Brittany. The blonde girl knew something was going on between the two, especially since the truck ride towards Breadstix. The couple had been too quiet.

"So, have you guys about this girl Rachel Berry?" Brittany asked the two.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" Puck asked.

"She's now dating quarterback Finn Hudson! Shocking right?"

"Well, as far as I know, they've been dating for a while now," Puck broke the news for Brittany. He was in the football team with Finn after all.

"Really?! How come I didn't know of this?!"

"Because..." Puck wanted to say something mean but knew how special Brittany was to Santana. And if he did anything to break Brittany's heart, Santana will surely break up with him.

"Why does it matter anyway, Brittany? Finn was a loser in the first place. It's about time he stoop to his own level and stop trying so hard to pretend he's cool."

"He's still in the football team. Therefore, Finn is a part of us," Brittany told Santana.

"But the kid is still a weirdo," Santana spilled her last word about the school's quarterback, Finn Hudson.

Both Brittany and Santana had tried out to become a part of the cheerleading team during their first year of high school. They were immediately accepted and granted the position as one of the honorable cheerleaders, even with their newness to the team. With this position, they were undoubtedly one of the most popular kids in school that no one would dare mess with, most especially because of Santana's uptight personality and her defensiveness over Brittany.

* * *

With the dinner coming to an end, Puck sends Brittany home first and then Santana afterwards. But before Puck could leave, Santana felt too guilty already and invited Puck to come inside with her.

"Are you serious about this?" Puck asked, to which Santana nodded with a slight smile.

Inside Santana's room, Puck gets pushed by Santana towards the her bed. She began to strip down to her underwear afterwards and crawled on top of Puck, beginning it with passionate kisses. Puck held onto Santana's waist as his back finally touches the bed. He turned the way around, now with him hovering over the girl, and kissed the girl over by the neck, leading down.

As their night continued, Santana could only think of one person.

"Brittany..."


	4. Heartache

**This short multi-shot is nearly coming to a close.**  
**Thank you for the favs, follows, and reviews 3**

* * *

It's been four months since Santana had been with Puck but she never changed her routine. She would still get her sweet lady kisses with Brittany from time to time and Puck would know nothing about it. Brittany would become too conscious about how the things are between her and her best friend but Santana would always tell her that she's only sleeping with Brittany because she hasn't gotten any lately from Puck.

"Why don't you ask Puck why? If I was him, I wouldn't let you down," Brittany told the girl next to her, close in proximity together with her on top of her bed, covered in a thick blanket.

Santana smiled at Brittany's words. The girl next to her never failed to keep Santana from falling in love with her.

"Tell you what, how about I talk to him about this?" Brittany offered.

"No!" Santana quickly answered, "just leave it between us..."

"I'm just trying to help out."

"Thank you Britt, but no thank you," Santana replied with a slight smile.

Brittany replied with a slight smile as well as she caressed the girl's cheek and kissed her forehead. She pulled the girl closer to her and wrapped her around her arms until they fell asleep together.

* * *

At school, Santana would always be asked constantly by Puck if they could have sex. Santana would only turn him down, making stupid excuses that Puck would think would be reasonable. She felt conscious and guilty over everything. Everytime she looked at Brittany during their late night sessions, she would feel guilty of lying to her. And everytime she looked at Puck, she felt too guilty on using him as a cover up of what she really is. She wished she never felt the way she did for Brittany, and to the other girls she felt attracted to, but she knew there was really nothing that could turn things straight for her. She was of that nature and no boy's going to turn her around.

At times, Santana wished she could just tell Brittany about how she felt for her but learned to pull back. Even though it hurt her everytime she saw Brittany make out with other people, she knew to keep it to herself and pretend it did nothing to her. But at times when she saw other people flirting with Brittany, and with the girl doing the same thing back at them, her heart would only melt and her mind wouldn't be at the right place.

Samuel Evans, better known simply as Sam, was another blonde haired dude who recently transferred to their high school. He's part of the football team, but he has a big mouth... literally a big mouth. Santana didn't really consider him as a competition because of his big mouth but the more she watched him flirt with Brittany, the more she felt like the blonde was drifting away from her. Santana didn't want any of it.

As Santana walked to her locker, she saw Sam flirting with Brittany again by her locker. Enraged, she went next to Brittany and interrupted their conversation.

"Hey, I believe we haven't introduced ourselves to each other yet," Santana eyed on Sam.

"Oh... right. Sam, this is Santana. Santana, this is Sam," Brittany introduced them to each other.

"Hello Santana, I'm glad to meet you," Sam held out his hand.

Santana looked at the hand, then at Brittany. She noticed that Brittany was waiting for her to shake the hand of the guy. Defeated, she decided to do so.

"You. Too," Santana shook Sam's hand while still eyeing on him, "You. Too."

"Alright..." Sam turned his eyes towards Brittany, quite scared because of Santana's glare, "... I shall be going now. Okay? Take care."

"Okay! You take good care of yourself too," Brittany told Sam as she watched him walk away down the halls.

"Brittany, do you like this guy?" Santana decided to ask. She's been dying to know because Brittany seemed to approach the guy differently than anyone else.

"Well, he's a blondie like me... we must agree on pretty much anything. Without his big mouth, I think he's actually pretty nice and attractive," Brittany answered.

"Really, Brittany? You like the guy because he's a blondie like you?!"

"Pretty much 99% of my reason... but just like what I said, he's actually nice and attractive if you look at him closer."

"When were you going to tell me about him?"

"I don't think you needed to know because you're busy with Puck anyway..."

"I thought we were best friends?!"

"I thought we were as well, but you haven't been telling me anything recently. Before Puck was in your life, you would always tell me everything. But now you seem to be hiding everything from me and telling Puck about your life instead of me," Brittany sighed, "did you tell Puck about what we do? I don't think so. Also, I do think you're cheating on me... or to Puck... whatever."

"He's been cheating on me too but I let it go. We're totally equal!"

"At least he was honest about it," Brittany told Santana as she closed her locker, "I just feel we're drifting apart."

"Brittany," Santana said with a hint of dejection as she watched the girl walk away from her.

* * *

After having sex with Puck that night, Santana expected to sleep but she couldn't. The thought of Brittany's words kept her awake at night. She wanted to call the girl but thought the girl was probably sleeping at the moment. But Santana decided to send the girl a text message anyway, hoping it would lift the weights on her shoulders and letting her fall asleep.

"Brittany," she began and then Puck started to turn and hug her naked body, "you may be sleeping already, but let me pour out my thoughts at this moment. I'm sorry if I seem like I don't tell you everything just like before. I'm really sorry that it seemed that way, but please do understand. I'm battling my own problems at the moment. I can't let anyone know about this, not even you. I'm afraid I might lose you if you knew about this."

On the other line, Brittany was still awake. She couldn't sleep either because of what happened to her and Santana at school. She just had sex with Sam, which she did for a while since meeting the guy. But she didn't tell Santana about it because she thought it wasn't necessary to tell her everything that was happening in her life. But as she heard her phone vibrate, she reached for it and was surprised of Santana's message. She thought the girl would be sleeping at the moment but was glad that she wasn't. Brittany opened up the message and started reading it. As soon as she was done reading the text message, she had all sorts of questions and decided to reply back.

"Honey, I don't know what kind of problem you have. I don't know why you might lose me if you told me about it. But I already told you that you're my best friend a couple of times and nothing's going to change that, unless you change that yourself. I would die and do anything for you. But if you think that problem of yours is going to change anything about our friendship, then so be it. Don't tell me about it if you're not comfortable talking about it. But remember that I'm here for you if you wanted to talk about anything," Brittany replied.

Santana was surprised to hear her phone vibrate to a message in the middle of the night. She was surprised that Brittany was still awake. Even so, she immediately read the message and smiled at how touching Brittany's message was to her. Santana wanted to tell Brittany everything so badly but she knew better not to tell anyone about it, especially her, Brittany S. Pierce, the girl she's madly in love with.

* * *

During school time, feeling confident, Santana joyfully skipped towards Brittany's locker. She greeted her best friend with a joyful smile while the girl simply replied with a slight smile.

"Are you ready to get our night on?" Santana asked the girl. They had appropriate times they had agreed on to have sex with each other and this was one of those days.

Brittany closed her locker then turned to answer Brittany, "I don't think that will happen anymore. I'm sorry for breaking this pact between us..."

"Why? Did big mouth blondie tell you not to do it with me? You told him about us?" Santana asked, angered about the situation.

"I didn't tell him anything. He knew that we were close and tight, like what best friends should be, and that's it. Look, Santana, I'm not like you. I don't want to cheat on him-"

"Wait. Hold up. Cheat on him?! When were you going to tell me about this?"

"I... have been wanting to tell you today but I didn't have the chance to. But now that you're here, I found it to be the perfect time to say so."

"You just had to wait for our date night huh?" Santana crossed her arms.

"I didn't intend for it to be that way. He asked me this morning to be his girlfriend. It wasn't my fault that he asked me the day of our night," Brittany explained, "how about we have a double date tonight at Breadstix? Then we could still at least consider this day as our date night."

"It's nothing like that, Britt. Date night is nothing like that at all!" Santana told Brittany and turned around to walk down the hallway, tearing up without Brittany knowing.

"Santana!" Brittany called out but knew to leave the girl alone.

* * *

That night, Santana had forced Puck to have the night with him. Puck thought that Santana was doing something for the night, at least that was what Santana had told her, but the girl told him that it was cancelled. Puck gladly agreed to do so and so they went with their night. After that, Santana told Puck to go home, unlike the days when Puck could stay over the night. She escorted the guy on the way out.

"What's wrong?" Puck asked as he turned around, "Something's clearly wrong in here."

"You don't have to know," Santana shook her head.

"But I'm your boyfriend... I'm here for you, Santana."

"Thanks... but I'd rather be left alone for tonight."

Puck was hesitant at first but learned to agree on his girlfriend.

"Well if you need me, you know I'm just a call away," Puck smiled.

"Thanks," Santana smiled back and said 'goodnight' before closing the door.

She proceeded to go upstairs to her room, holding her tears. But they burst out of her eyes. Santana couldn't control it anymore. She had never seen the day where Brittany would decide to stay committed to one man. She thought Brittany would always be hers, but there was no changing the fact that Sam was in her world now. Sam has Brittany and Santana doesn't.

* * *

It's been weeks and Santana hasn't gotten any from Brittany. They also barely hang out anymore. Brittany's world now revolves around Sam and no one else. This taught Santana to despise Sam more than she ever had before. Because of Sam, she couldn't get Brittany anytime she wanted her. Because of Sam, she couldn't talk face-to-face with Brittany anytime she wanted to. Because of Sam, Brittany's heart belonged to someone else.

During school time, Sam would greet Santana whenever he passed by the girl at the hallways.

"Hi there, Santana," Sam would greet the girl.

Santana would only reply to him by rolling her eyes as she kept walking towards her destination.

Sam wouldn't know why the girl was acting that way because he knew he did nothing to physically harm her in such a way. He decided to consult Brittany after being fed up with no clues at all as to why Santana treated him like crap.

"Hey babe," Sam approached Brittany by her locker, "do you know what's happening with Santana?"

"Why," Brittany asked as she grabbed some books from her locker, "is there something going on?"

"I don't particularly know... As far as I could remember, I've already gotten the cold shoulders from her ever since I started talking to you. And I've been getting a more intense version after you became my girlfriend... Have you guys been talking lately?" Sam explained then asked.

"I haven't been hanging out that much with her lately..."

"Maybe that's it! Maybe she's mad at me because I seemed to take you away from her!" Sam thought, "why don't you go ahead and hang out with her today. See how she's doing."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course," Sam smiled, "you being my girlfriend doesn't mean you have to devote your whole life towards me. We could hang out from time-to-time but never lose contact from your friend that has been there more than I have. Those friends are irreplaceable, Brittany. I can see why she doesn't like me at all."

"She's probably hanging out with Puck after school..."

"Why don't you ask her to make sure?" Sam looked up behind Brittany, "here she comes."

Brittany turned around and saw Santana walking down the hallway. She slightly smiled and approached the girl before she could ignore her presence.

"Hey Santana."

"Hi," Santana replied, keeping it short.

"Are you doing anything after school?"

"Why do you care? Aren't you going to go somewhere with your BOYFRIEND?" Santana eyed on Sam, who in turn looked away from her evil gaze.

Brittany looked back at Sam, who was watching the whole thing, and looked back at Santana.

"We're not doing anything. I was thinking if we could hang out together... you know, just us."

"Why?" Santana looked at Brittany.

"I just want to talk... like we usually did before I got together with Sam... and before you got together with Puck."

"If you're boyfriend is fine with that, then I'm fine with it," Santana told Brittany.

"Great, I'll see you at Breadstix around 7:30pm."

"Alright. I'll see you by then," Santana slightly smiled and went on her way towards her class.

* * *

That night, at the appointed time they had to meet, Brittany had been waiting on the table eating the bread sticks that were being sent over to her table. From time-to-time, she would look towards the entrance to see if Santana was there but there was no sign of Santana. Worried, Brittany looked at the clock and saw that it was already around 8pm. She wanted to call Santana but decided to wait for a little while.

Finally, after a few more minutes, Santana decided to show up. She went towards the table were Brittany was and smiled at how her best friend were just playing swords with the bread sticks on the table.

Brittany looked up to see Santana smiling at her. She smiled in return and went up to hug the girl.

"I thought you wouldn't be coming here at all."

"I'm sorry," Santana hugged the girl tightly. She never expected the girl to wait for her for so long. She thought Brittany would have left the restaurant and drove away with Sam. She was at guilt. She wasn't really thinking of showing up, but the image of Brittany waiting for her for hours at the restaurant saddened her. And now knowing that Brittany did wait for her for a quite a long time, she was glad that she appeared.

They both went to seat themselves afterwards as a waitress came by to get their orders. The two got the usual orders they always got at Breadstix and proceeded to talk amongst themselves.

"So... how have you been with Sam lately?" Santana decided to ask.

"We've been doing well... usual boyfriend/girlfriend thing... How about you and Puck?" Brittany decided to turn the question.

"Oh, we're fine as well..." Santana slightly smiled.

It was quite awkward for Santana to talk to Brittany again, even though it hasn't been that long ago since the blonde started hanging out with the other blonde. She was just overpowered with jealousy and she hated it.

Having been nervous about the silence, Santana decided to ask another question.

"Why did you want to talk?"

"I'll be frank with you," Brittany deeply breathed in and out, "do you not like Sam at all?"

Santana gulped at the question.

"Did he do anything to you?"

"What made you think that?"

"I may be a dumb blonde, but just because he's a blondie either doesn't mean he's dumb as well."

"I'm cool with Sam being together with you, Brittany."

"Why have you been giving him the cold shoulder?"

"You do know how I treat everyone else, right?"

"I thought you only did that to people you think were not special at all?" Brittany sighed, "look, Santana, Sam is special to me. Am I not special enough for you to think that Sam is special as well? Sam just wanted to be friends with you because he knows that you're my best friend. Please give Sam a chance to prove to you that he's going to be good to me. Just look at how I treated Puck. I never treated him badly, did I?"

Santana sighed and nodded her head.

"I know, I know. It's just me, Brittany. I'm really sorry."

"Why don't you just tell me the problem? Is it that hard to tell?"

"It is, Brittany. No one knows about this."

"Alright then... But are you still going to give Sam a cold shoulder?" Brittany asked in curiosity.

"... no," Santana mocked.

"Good girl," Brittany smiled and munched on some bread sticks.

Santana clenched her hands as she looked down at the table.

"What about me? Am I still special to you?"

Brittany stopped from grabbing another bite from the bread stick in her hand and looked at Santana.

"Did you not think you weren't special to me still after I began hanging out with Sam?"

"It seems like you care more about him than how you do to me."

"Aw... is my Santana jealous of Sam?"

"Brittany," Santana looked up and sighed, hinting that she was serious about the question.

"Like I told you, I would die and do anything for you. That's never going to change."

"Do you... love me more than you do with Sam?"

Brittany paused for a moment, trying to think if Santana meant for the question to be the relationship type or the more 'in general' type. She looked at Santana and saw that the girl was really serious about the question. She felt like the girl was about to cry.

"What kind of answer are you looking for?" Brittany asked the girl nervously.

Santana looked at Brittany's hand from across the table and reached for it. She held onto it with a tight but gentle grip. She decided to intertwine both their fingers and looked at Brittany's reaction.

"Do you still not get it?"

Brittany was just frozen upon her seat, looking at how both their hands and fingers played. She looked at Santana. The girl looked like she was pleading for something she didn't know.

"Forget it," Santana sighed and brought her hand to herself.

She got up from her seat and exited the restaurant with Brittany still inside. She proceeded to her car afterwards and seated herself as tears started to flow out from her eyes uncontrollably. She slammed the steering wheel and held onto it as she looked down and sobbed.

Suddenly, there was a knock from her window. Santana looked up and saw Brittany.

"Santana, please talk to me," Brittany pleaded, her voice muffled from inside the car.

Santana wiped her tears away before rolling the windows down.

"Look, Santana, I don't really know what just happened there. You know how I am... I need a better explanation and interpretation of the question. Or else, I may never give you the right answer."

"It's fine," Santana answered, looking ahead from her windshield, "I don't think you're ever going to give me the answer I wanted anyway."

"Santana, I want you to tell me what's really going on right now. Or else I'm not moving away from here or anything."

Santana was frozen to her spot. She knew that Brittany was true to her words. Waiting for her for a while already proved that, especially when they fought one time during summer time. Brittany stayed in front of Santana's house to apologize and told her she wasn't going anywhere until Santana forgave her. Night time came and Brittany was still down by Santana's window, waiting for Santana's forgiveness. From then on, Santana took Brittany's words more seriously.

"I'm still waiting..."

Santana stepped out of her car and closed the door after her. She stepped forward towards Brittany and held both the girl's hands this time while looking dearly upon her eyes.

Brittany, on the other hand, looked at their hands together and looked at Santana's eyes. She noticed how Santana's mascara was a bit off, even from the darkness of the night. She knew something went on. Brittany knew Santana had cried. And with the actions that her best friend was portraying at the moment, she felt more and more nervous about how things are going on that night. She knew by then that Santana wanted more from her. Even from the start when she saw her during middle school. Brittany saw the hint of jealousy from Santana, thus kissing her the first time. She tried to dismiss it, playing along with what Santana had in mind. But she knew from the very start that Santana wanted more from her, she just didn't know when she would tell her. But she felt that it was this time that she finally would be true about her feelings. There was no more hiding, Brittany thought.


	5. Conditions and Consequences

**Woah! After a period of hiatus, more people followed this story... thank you :)**

* * *

It was now or never for Santana. It was time to tell Brittany how she really felt. She had already been through jealousy over stupid guys, and sometimes girls, whom Brittany would give her attention to, even for just a day. And now that Brittany was officially with Sam, Santana couldn't be any more jealous and, most of all, heartbroken. Her fear of someone grabbing Brittany's full attention had come and Santana wasn't anywhere near ready for it.

"I've been meaning to tell you this for the longest time now, but I thought in the past that I wasn't ready to tell you," Santana sighed, still holding onto Brittany's hands and looking up to her eyes, "I never wanted things to become this way but I can't help it. I love you, Brittany S. Pierce. I want you to be mine only. I don't want anyone else to have you."

Brittany's eyes opened a bit wider. She felt Santana's grip on her hands loosen but Brittany held onto the latter's hands tighter. Although she was happy about the girl's confession, she still had questions inside her head.

"What about Puck?"

"I just used Puck to hide things, Brittany. I don't want anyone else but you," Santana answered.

"Don't you think that it was bad to use Puck to cover yourself?"

Santana paused and asked, "is this really what you want to talk about after I told you about my feelings for you?!"

"I do accept your feelings Santana," Brittany shook both their hands, "I really do! But you have to remember that it's not always a happy ending in the end. You have to think about the others you have used and have lied to."

"I know it's bad that I used Puck to cover my feelings for you-"

"It's not really about what you feel towards me this time. Tell me, have you ever loved a guy before?"

Santana was a bit shaken by the question.

"You never did, did you? You never loved a guy once, even Puck. You never were really that attracted to him."

"Where are you going with this question, Britt?"

"It's about being who you are. You've didn't just use Puck to cover your feelings for me. You used him to cover who you really are, a girl who likes girls."

"So? What about it?" Santana didn't know where Brittany was going with the conversation.

"Look... I seriously do accept your love for me... and honestly, I want to be with you. But I just couldn't break up with Sam instantly," Brittany told Santana, "but most importantly, I don't want to be in a relationship with you if all that we're going to do is hide the fact that we are in a relationship."

Santana released her hands from Brittany's and looked away as she crossed her arms.

"I don't think I'm ready to tell everyone yet... I thought telling you my feelings was enough," Santana said with a hint of annoyance.

"If you really do love me, you'll do it. You would tell everybody the real you."

"And so if I do," Santana faced Brittany, "what would you do with Sam?"

The question left Brittany thinking. If Santana did tell everybody immediately, Brittany couldn't just possibly break up with Sam because she wanted to be with Santana. It was too harsh.

"Look, how about you deal with Sam first before I deal with my own thing?" Santana asked. After a short period of silence between them, she sighed and opened the door to her car, "I'm... going to go home now."

"A-Alright..."

"I guess... goodnight?" Santana asked Brittany. She was still waiting on the girl to make a move, possibly hug her or, even better, kiss her.

"Yeah..." Brittany nodded her head slowly, "... goodnight."

Santana slightly smiled and hopped in her car, closing the door. She rolled down the windows and smiled slightly at Brittany, which the girl did in reply. Again, there was a pause between them. Santana was still waiting but Brittany wasn't doing anything. She was frustrated but knew it was better not to show the girl any signs of her being so. She started her engine and soon drove away from the lot while Brittany stood there, lost and watching.

On the ride home, Santana couldn't handle the pain that weighed inside her heart. She finally said it. She finally told the love of her life the feelings she held in for her, hoping she would get something good in return. The girl did say that she loved her back but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for Santana. She wanted more than just a reciprocation of her feelings. She wanted them to be officially together. But due to the circumstances they were in, there was no luck. Her tears eventually slowly flowed down her cheeks until it was unstoppable.

* * *

At school, Santana didn't talk to Brittany at all. Whenever they passed each other by the hallway, Brittany would try to greet Santana but the girl would just walk past her, pretending not to see her. But at times when Santana did have the urge to respond to Brittany's greeting, Sam would be there. Santana would get reminded of the night she and Brittany talked at the parking lot and would have those feelings she felt that night come back and haunt her. To her, it was all Sam's fault... and partly hers.

During the class times, Santana would look down at the table with her right elbow on top of the table; her right hand supporting her head as she leaned towards it with her right cheek. She would twirl around her pen with her left fingers and not pay attention to what was going on in class at all. The teacher would call her attention but she wouldn't notice. Santana was lost in the world where she and Brittany were together and nothing was stopping them. She was in a world where there was no consequences with loving her. Eventually, one of her classmates would call out to her or shake her to wake her up from her day dream.

The class ended. Everybody in class started to walk out of the classroom, including Santana. But before Santana could fully exit the class, the teacher called upon her.

"Santana, hold up!"

Santana stopped from her steps and looked at the teacher.

"I need you to see me after school."

Santana sighed, slightly nodded, and went on to her next class.

* * *

After school ended, Santana did go to see her teacher instead of heading straight home. She didn't care what punishment she had at the moment. All she cared about was thinking about her imaginary world with Brittany.

Sitting behind her desk, reviewing papers, the teacher caught a glimpse of Santana. She told the girl to have a seat at one of the chairs in front of the class. Santana politely obeyed the order and anticipated for her teacher's words. The teacher set aside the papers she had on her hands and clasped her hands together, giving Santana her full attention.

"Now Santana, I don't know what's going on with you lately and I'm deeply concerned. You've got a few more months of school and you haven't been focusing lately like how you always were."

"Thank you, Ms. Holliday, for your concern... but I don't think you're going to be of any help."

Ms. Holliday stared at the girl and stood up from her chair. She went around her desk and sat on top of it, right in front of Santana.

"Try me?"

Santana clasped her hands together, doubting if she should tell anything about her current problems to her teacher. But the longer she stared at Ms. Holliday, the more she loosened up. And finally, Santana gave in.

"What would you do if you are in love with someone from the same gender? You love each other but the only thing that would declare you to be in a relationship is for you to come out and tell everyone what you really are?" Santana asked.

Ms. Holliday smirked and nodded her head.

"I knew it."

"Wait..." Santana was surprised, "... y-you know?!"

"Of course! Whenever I see you with Brittany, I know there's something more between the two of you despite you two having boyfriends and all."

"How did you see us-"

"I see you two down the hallway?" Ms. Holliday pointed out the obvious, "it's not like I'm stuck here in this room for the rest of my life."

"Does that mean everybody knows?" Santana asked in horror.

"I don't think everyone knows. It was my own judgment. Others would only see you two as really close friends but some of us do have the perfect gaydar and we can tell whether someone's gay or not. And I just happen to be one of those who has one."

"Ms. Holliday, this is not a joke."

"I'm not making it as one. I'm just saying the truth," Ms. Holliday began to explain, "everyone judges everyone else differently. There are some oblivious to you being a lesbian and there are some who have the hunch that you are. All they have are speculations and they all need clarification. But the point is, there are already people out the who thinks that you are a lesbian."

"If I told everyone that I am... then everybody would begin to judge me even more..."

"If you did, those who already have the hunch that you are wouldn't change eitherway. But those who don't know at all, you have to be careful with those. Eitherway, I think the only people who have the right to know are those who care and love you," Ms. Holliday smiled, "you may lose some and I know it will hurt. But what's more important is that you're being true to yourself. When you confess to them, the weight inside you will finally be lifted and I think that's what's important. You get to live yourself like the way you are without any worries because the ones who are important to you already knows who you are by then and would understand why you would act the way the true you would act."

"But what if some of the people I loved stopped loving me for who I am? Especially if it's one of my family that I really deeply care about?"

"It will be hard on them. Remember, you're not the only one who's going to go through with this because all your life, you lived like what everyone thought of you and played along that way, keeping the true you invisible from them. The realization would shock them and they may refuse to believe it," Ms. Holliday explained, "they may not accept it or they may not even talk to you for a while, but if they do deeply care about you, if they really want you to still be a part of their lives, they should understand the way you are."

Santana looked saddened at the possible consequences there may be if she came out to her family, friends, and loved ones. But she knew she couldn't hide from everyone forever. She knew secrets would eventually reveal themselves and that would cause an even bigger problem.

"Look, Santana, I'm really how our society is still set on the belief that homosexuality is blasphemy, but people are going to think what they think. There is no changing that. But would you rather hide and lie your whole life? Would you rather live an unhappy life because that's what's holding you? Or would you rather live a life so true that you feel much freedom to live the way you want to? To know the ones who would stay and the ones who wouldn't? To be with the one you truly want to be with?"

Santana pondered hardly on these questions. The fact that she may lose some important people on her life fears her. But the thing that fears her the most is losing someone she became and stayed friends with for years, the one she cared deeply about, the one she loved dearly, Brittany.

She looked up to her teacher and smiled, "thank you Ms. Holliday. I think I know what to do now."

"Alright... I guess we can call it a day then," Ms. Holliday smiled, "tell me the details when you've finally done it."

"I will," Santana nodded and immediately exited the classroom.

* * *

Coming home, Santana immediately rushed towards her room upstairs and grabbed her phone to send a text message to Brittany. She was so motivated and excited that she couldn't help but feel adrenaline rush through her veins.

"Brittany, I'm coming out to my family today. I expect you to take care of your whole situation with Sam soon enough," she told the girl through text message before going downstairs, leaving her phone behind.

Santana saw her mother cooking at the kitchen and decided to help her out. Mrs. Lopez found it weird for her daughter to be helping her with the chores because she never usually does until she was told to do so. She knew something was up and she wanted to know what it was.

"Santana, dear, what's going on?"

"Nothing, mom. Why?" Santana asked back as she cleaned the dishes.

"I know something's going on. Spill it."

Santana sighed and told her mother, "I want abuela and dad to be here for dinner. I have to tell everybody something."

"Is it that important? Couldn't you wait until the weekend?"

"No, mom. I can't. This is the only time I have the motivation and the will-power to do this. If I don't do this now, I don't think I will ever do for the rest of my life and I don't think I will be happy if I kept this from the ones I love and the ones that love me the most."

Mrs. Lopez smiled at her daughter's words and nodded her head.

"You can call your abuela. I'm sure she would want to hear what you have to say. Your father will be here in an hour."

"Okay! Thanks mom!" Santana said with such delight and used the house phone to invite her grandmother over for dinner.

* * *

Meanwhile, Brittany was with Sam the moment Santana sent the message. They were spending their day together over at a drive-in theater, watching the recent comedy film that just came out to the theaters. Brittany looked at her phone after her phone vibrated for a notification. Seeing that it was from Santana, Brittany made sure she hid it from Sam.

"Brittany, I'm coming out to my family today. I expect you to take care of your whole situation with Sam soon enough," the text message read.

Brittany looked over at Sam, who was too into the movie. She didn't know how to respond to the text message. She was worried about what Sam will think of her if she broke up with him over Santana. The guy didn't do anything wrong to her, it was her heart telling her to break up with him. But what should she follow? The logic of her brain, telling her it's immoral to leave someone who's done nothing but be nice to you? Or the feelings of her heart, telling her that she should be true to who she really wants, needs, and loves?

* * *

Dinner was all ready at the Lopez household. Mr. Lopez and Santana's abuela had finally arrived, quite excited what the darling princess so importantly had to tell them. Santana welcomed the both of them with a kiss before seating them behind the table. As soon as everyone was seated, Santana seated herself and proposed a toast for the whole family. The rest didn't know what was going on but decided to go on with it.

Minutes later, Santana's grandmother asked why the sudden get-together. But Santana told her that she would tell everybody what she had to say after finishing their meal.

All stuffed and finished, the whole family thanked Mrs. Lopez for a great dinner. They soon diverted their attention to the little princess among them who told them she had something important to tell them.

"Alright," Santana took in a deep breath and went on, "it takes up all my guts to tell you all about this. You may oppose to this but I will be very glad if you didn't. I wish you all would continue to support me and see me as I still am right now before I tell you all this. I really do hope you all wouldn't see me as anyone different when I tell you all this."

"Go on," her grandmother spoke up.

Santana nodded and continued, "I... love girls."


End file.
